i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
