i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
