rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she peed on how many people?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
