You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
