He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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