I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
