using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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