That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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