The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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