remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize
