I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
