spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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