I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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