Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
