If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize