So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
