Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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