We named our party play list daddy issues
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
