You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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