My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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