After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize