New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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