There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
