It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize