what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You smell like stripper and shame
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
