i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
