Who wears a wallet chain?!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i out mim tonsoeep
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