Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
