upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
