Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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