i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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