My brain says no but my pants say off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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