Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
