Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize