what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
