i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
