We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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