i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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