I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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