I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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