I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
