We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
