A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize