if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Moan for me like Helen Keller
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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