if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's get the cat blown out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
