I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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