Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
