The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
