Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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