Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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