As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
