I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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