nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
