We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
