I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
