HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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