my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
