In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
