also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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