The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
