Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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