Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
