dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
